A mum is refusing to speak to her own sister, after she booted her four-year-old daughter out of her wedding party for ‘messing up’ as flower girl.
The 28-year-old woman was a little reluctant when her younger sister asked her and her daughter to be bridesmaid and flower girl for the special day as she knew her sister would “a massive bridezilla,” but nevertheless she agreed.
“My sister has always been one of those people that has to have everything perfect to the point sometimes it was hard to be around her,” the woman explained on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum. “But, since she was my little sister and I’ve got no other siblings, I always made excuses when she’d hurt me.”
Over the last few months during the build up to the wedding, the woman and her daughter have had to “practise multiple dances, pay for very expensive dresses and put up with my sister’s tantrums.”
“I told her from the start if she was in anyway nasty to my child I wouldn’t stand for it and she assured me she’d never be nasty towards her ‘favourite person in the whole world’,” the woman continued.
“Well her now husbands little cousin, who is around eight, has started coming to dance practice with her mom and my sister started to ask her do little things like show my daughter how to throw the petals. I honestly thought she’d make them both flower girls for a while but when she started to make my daughter sit out and have the little girl do her poem I knew what was gonna happen but prayed I was wrong.”
A few weeks before the wedding, the woman decided to invite her sister out for a coffee to ask her what was going on with her daughter and the wedding, only to be told the four-year-old “wasn’t doing everything right” and her sister was “afraid she was going to mess up” by not doing the right dance or the right movements on the day.
“I told her she doing a pretty good job and everyone was always praising her, but my sister giggled and said it’s not THEIR day now is it so it’s not up to US what’s good enough for her wedding. I asked her straight up did she think her niece wasn’t good enough to be in her wedding and she said not as something big as a flower girl but she should still attend.”
The woman then asked her sister how she thought she should break it to her little girl that she was no longer going to be in the wedding when she was so excited, to which her sister responded: “Just figure it out.”
A few days later, she finally plucked up the courage to tell her daughter in the kindest way possible, but she says it “broke her heart” and she cried herself to sleep that night.
The woman told her sister she would have to think about whether any of them would be attending at all, and a week later her sister started dropping off gifts and asking them to re-join the wedding party, as a number of her other bridesmaids – including some family members – had dropped out.
“We ended up going for a few weeks away with no phones. When we came back my sister had sent me multiple letters and emails apologising and her in-laws and husband have called me an a**hole for doing what I did,” the woman added, before asking Reddit whether they thought she was in the wrong.
“Remind her your niece wasn’t good enough for her vision of her day so you removed the problem,” one Reddit user commented. “My sympathies to her future kids if they aren’t perfect. Her husband should be horrified by the monster he married.”
Meanwhile, another added: “You got to protect you kid plain and simple. I could understand if she was having behavioural issues but kicking her out just because a four-year-old wasn’t able to do all the dances or whatever correct is crazy. A four-year-old!!
“Other than throwing rose petals and walking, what else is there to do? I didn’t even know that flower girls had a dance in weddings.”